de do do do, de da da da is all i want to say to you

Real thing that I just said: “I JUST GOT BOATS!”

Thing that I just meant to say: “I JUST GOT BOOTS!”

Yet another reason why I really need to learn to keep my languages straight. Or perhaps just get more sleep.

The lack of sleep started out my fault–Thursday bedtime got pushed back because of the internet and clicking. Friday was NYE and even though I initially decided to stay in and do nothing, around 10:30 I made the decision to get out of bed (yes, really) and head over to a small get-together at a friend’s place.  I hadn’t seen her in forever, it was good to see the other people there, it was overall a good decision.  It was not good, however, for getting sleep.  I have a lot of trouble getting comfortable enough to sleep and I woke up several times and had weird dreams–the most memorable was finding a cure for zombiism in the form of nutritional yeast packed cinnamon scones (yuck!) and then of course we were too late to save them since the government got impatient and decided to blow them all up anyway.  Stupid government intervention.  Anyway, I had to nap yesterday as a result (after the black-eyed peas, of course) which made sleep last night come late.  Now I’m tired, but a little wired from exciting reuniting and epic Super Smash Bros battles and all that. *sigh*

In honor of this new year, I’ve been thinking about resolutions.  I don’t generally make them–perhaps I’m too pessimistic or maybe I just know I’ll be filled with self-hatred should I let them slide.  Lent is generally a much better period of self-improvement for me.  Growing up just shy of the bible belt makes religious guilt a might strong motivator, no matter my current beliefs. And 46 days is a bit more manageable than thinking about an entire year–or even worse, an entire rest of life! Maybe then a resolution for January would be more realistic.  Something with shades of gray so that there’s no absolute failure possible.

I’m not sure if this really counts, as I’ve been working slowly on it, and some parts can’t really be worked on until I’m back at school, but one of the things that bothers me most is the trouble I have with communication.  I’m not talking about my language mix-ups again.  I’m also not really talking about the lack of clarity in my speech–more often than not, I find that I am able to more or less express what I want to when I want to. It’s more a problem of staying in touch.   One aspect is that I don’t contact people as much as I should, in meaningful enough ways.    Another part of the problem is that when I contact someone, I want contact back.  Seems reasonable enough, right? Maybe I should be blaming technology here, or maybe I’m trying to use things like text messaging for meaningful conversation that they aren’t meant to handle.  Either way, I end up rather put off when someone leaves without word in the middle of a conversation–or prematurely ends it by simple ceasing to respond.  This would never happen–at least not with a friendly person–in real life or even a phone call. You simply don’t walk away when having a conversation.  Lastly, it annoys me to no end when people do not initiate conversation.  The message this sends to me is “I don’t really want to talk to you enough to send the first message.”  I’m sure (I hope) that isn’t the real message, but it hurts.  And gets me thinking–does s/he really want to talk at all? Am I sending too many messages? Eventually, I’ll back off of the messages in hopes of reestablishing conversational balance. All this leads to less than satisfying contact.

What I’ll be doing: Firstly, I’ll try to get less upset when others commit the conversation fouls I’ve mentioned–I have to be able to assume that if it’s a friend, s/he’s probably not intentionally being a jerk.  And I’ll work on not committing them myself–I’m sure I do it, and if it bothers me, it probably bothers other people.  I’m also setting up a phone call schedule with a friend from home to make sure we keep up with each other, in a more meaningful manner than texts or instant messages.

I’ll check back in at the beginning of February–maybe by then I can tell you about a new habit of staying better in touch.

  1. Hey –

    IMing is weird. I just think you have to accept that it’s somewhat more casual than a phone call or meeting in person – largely because it’s less exclusive (people can and do multitask while doing it). And really they need to, because if you think about it, iming conversations last a lot longer than the same conversation would over the phone. It takes more time to type than to speak, even for those of us who type fast (we normally also speak fast :)) and waiting for responses before you can read also slows it down. When I’m in a very, very important im convo, I concentrate only on that… but otherwise it’s quite boring and it seems to take forever for the person to respond.

    Consider Skyping and talking voice to voice (or even face to face). I’ve found that best intentions aside, it’s usually much better for good conversations than IMing.

    • That’s definitely true–and why I intend to go back to more phone calls. The nature of IMing is different, and while I recognize that, I still think that there are steps that can be taken to improve communication even through that medium. Steps I plan to take as well.

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